To Dick Pic Or Not To Dick Pic - Discussion Monday

 Ah, the age old question. Whether or not to send a photograph of your member.

The answer depends on one thing and one thing only. Is it unsolicited? If the answer to that question is yes then remove your sweaty thumbs from the send button boys, it is a massive (or not) no.

Does this mean that we never want to see a picture of your penis? Again, the answer is no. I like a dickture picture, but only when asked for or offered politely. There is something much better about waking to a text saying "may I interest madame in a full frontal before I shower" rather than an angry looking chorizo in your face so to speak. 

We know you are proud of them. We get it. You are happy, eager even,  to show the object of your desire what you have, like puppies who have learned to poo in the right place. "Look! Look! It is all hard! For you!" Then you run around in a circle chasing your tail, inordinately pleased with yourselves.

But this is the thing. When I think about your hard cock, and believe me, I do think about it, I am not salivating over the sight of it, more the idea of it sliding into me or someone else in front of me. When I watch big ones while wanking to a porno, it isn't because it is pretty, but because I know how that feels, to have a rigidly hard cock, stretching at my cunt or my ass or even my mouth. There are very few cocks out of the ones I have seen that have made me go "mmmm." Sorry. They are not that pretty.

More likely, a dick pic is likely to make me tip my head to the side, scrunch up my eyes and wonder why it looks so angry. 

Plus, we're not always in the mood for it. We could be in Tesco trying to find where they have moved the cornflour or having a tricky shit while we scroll Twitter. Believe it or not, just because you are horny this does not mean we have picked up on this through the ether. We have shit to be getting on with. 

So ask. And it doesn't have to be boring. Some examples...

"Christ, you are hot. Want to see how hard you make me?" 

"May I interest you in a preview of what you are going to be sucking later?"

even

"Are you in the mood for a quick pic of ma hard dick?"

All of those are things we can say no to. And we can say it like...

"I can imagine, I'll wait and see if you can match my imagination."

"I don't want a preview, I'm going to let the whole show be a surprise."

"Babe, I am in Tesco. Do you know where they moved the cornflour?"

Send me an unsolicited picture (and this goes for all genders by the way) you are going to get either

  • Blocked
  • Bollocked
  • Blocked and bollocked.
So the answer to should I send the picture is: yes, if you know for sure it will be welcome in that moment. Just because they said yes once, this does not mean that you have carte blanche to send them when you want. It's tacky. And the very last thing a cock should be is tacky.
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1 comment:

  1. Totally, never send dick pics unless asked for. Remember when I was first started courting my partner and we were having some cheeky phone sex. she asked for a pic of my cock and I was wow, this is hot, which I gladly obliged. But yes, never sent any dick pics to anybody else. I've had dick pic sent to me and although flattering, never asked for them, so it's a block from me.

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